I need to apologise to You.
This year and like every year before it, I've run you down.
I'm sorry for always thinking you can't achieve something. I'm sorry for the preamble of 'I'm sure I won't be able to.' I'm sorry I've put you in a box to which I seem to have misplaced the key. I'm not going to give up with 'I can't find it.'
I'm sorry I underestimated how attractive you are, in some way or another. I'm sorry I've been surprised at compliments when clearly, you deserve them. I've laughed instead of smiling; I've doubled over, guffawing instead of bowing gracefully. I'm sorry I stood down in the face of a challenge that you were rearing to meet.
I apologise for the number of times I've let your dazzling potential remain just that- potential- because I didn't supplement it with enough preparation. I'm sorry I've eaten up your mindspace with needless thoughts. I've wasted your bandwidth with some very pointless wondering.
I wish you'd forgive me for beating you up even when it's not your fault. I hope you'll forgive me for when I have you bear the brunt of my work. You never complain when I do things that aren't mine to do. I hope you'll forgive me for the strain and the aching that was not yours to nurse.
I know that while you rejoice in the adrenaline of hard work, you wish that I'd let certain things go. I know you wish that I wasn't such a tyrant because I'm constantly giving you dark circles and gaunt cheeks. I wish you'd forgive me for how much I overdraw your account of tears and how little I spend your smiles.
In my heart I wish that you'd believe that I'm truly sorry.
But I see your wry smile at my naive assumption that I'm on the path to changing all of that. I see you shrug as you anticipate another year, yet another quadrennium of promises to be a better me for you. But believe you me, this year and here on end, you have an ally and an anchor like you've never had before.
I resolve nothing for another passing "new" year.
But I want you to know, I know.
Love and sincerity,
Me.
This year and like every year before it, I've run you down.
I'm sorry for always thinking you can't achieve something. I'm sorry for the preamble of 'I'm sure I won't be able to.' I'm sorry I've put you in a box to which I seem to have misplaced the key. I'm not going to give up with 'I can't find it.'
I'm sorry I underestimated how attractive you are, in some way or another. I'm sorry I've been surprised at compliments when clearly, you deserve them. I've laughed instead of smiling; I've doubled over, guffawing instead of bowing gracefully. I'm sorry I stood down in the face of a challenge that you were rearing to meet.
I apologise for the number of times I've let your dazzling potential remain just that- potential- because I didn't supplement it with enough preparation. I'm sorry I've eaten up your mindspace with needless thoughts. I've wasted your bandwidth with some very pointless wondering.
I wish you'd forgive me for beating you up even when it's not your fault. I hope you'll forgive me for when I have you bear the brunt of my work. You never complain when I do things that aren't mine to do. I hope you'll forgive me for the strain and the aching that was not yours to nurse.
I know that while you rejoice in the adrenaline of hard work, you wish that I'd let certain things go. I know you wish that I wasn't such a tyrant because I'm constantly giving you dark circles and gaunt cheeks. I wish you'd forgive me for how much I overdraw your account of tears and how little I spend your smiles.
In my heart I wish that you'd believe that I'm truly sorry.
But I see your wry smile at my naive assumption that I'm on the path to changing all of that. I see you shrug as you anticipate another year, yet another quadrennium of promises to be a better me for you. But believe you me, this year and here on end, you have an ally and an anchor like you've never had before.
I resolve nothing for another passing "new" year.
But I want you to know, I know.
Love and sincerity,
Me.
No comments:
Post a Comment