I will never find release from my demons, my newest crane tells me.
I must simply gain control.
Don't take the words of others and infuse them with wafting plumes of meaning, till the room is full of smoke from a fire that never was.
The little, glossy, menu-card flyer crane is as wise as it is new to this realm of crane shaped wishes. He looks a little cocky with the a little 'chick' from 'chicken coleslaw sandwich' branded on his wing. He's like a wise John Travolta (from Grease) crane who wantsme to know to remind me that I am a creature who conjures up my own crosses. Then, when it comes to carrying this multitude of very small, insignificant but very heavy crosses around, I end up whacking the people I love the most in various tender places.
*sigh*
Don't take an innocent string of sentiments and embellish them with lace and lilies and make them into a crown of torture for yourself. Don't believe that the lace and lilies belong to anyone but you. Especially if you have been categorically told so over and over and over again.
If you must lift the veil that shrouds events you have no idea about, then do that around someone who was there. Do that aloud and not in your head where every woman turns into a flaming succubus and all you can do is writhe in the pain of never knowing and never being sure.
For once stop believing that every woman is a flaming succubus.
They are not all sirens trying to lure sailors to their doom. The Universe shall not plot against you if you don't believe it to be plotting every waking moment, in your head.
Calm down, says my little crane of infinite wisdom.
Don't be so blinded by the fact that you feel like a stranger. Wait till you are told that you are one before you begin to sob yourself into oblivion about it. Don't imagine yourself into a life of misery, feel miserable and then wait for someone to rescue you without you being able to tell them what you need rescuing from. Be sane.
But I know, you won't. And I know you will be the same, wretched, little mess the next time. And while you have been sufficiently frightened this time, you will not let that fear do good things for you.
The little crane knew me so well.
Within minutes it had predicted the grand phoenix cycle of self destruction for me. Just like, within days and minutes I tread the path to alienating the people I love. Just likeI put I have decisively put my whole life's happiness in jeopardy just because I'm a stupid, little monkey who can learn nothing more than the old cymbal-clanking monkey business with any amount of dexterity.
Amen.
I must simply gain control.
Don't take the words of others and infuse them with wafting plumes of meaning, till the room is full of smoke from a fire that never was.
The little, glossy, menu-card flyer crane is as wise as it is new to this realm of crane shaped wishes. He looks a little cocky with the a little 'chick' from 'chicken coleslaw sandwich' branded on his wing. He's like a wise John Travolta (from Grease) crane who wants
*sigh*
Don't take an innocent string of sentiments and embellish them with lace and lilies and make them into a crown of torture for yourself. Don't believe that the lace and lilies belong to anyone but you. Especially if you have been categorically told so over and over and over again.
If you must lift the veil that shrouds events you have no idea about, then do that around someone who was there. Do that aloud and not in your head where every woman turns into a flaming succubus and all you can do is writhe in the pain of never knowing and never being sure.
For once stop believing that every woman is a flaming succubus.
They are not all sirens trying to lure sailors to their doom. The Universe shall not plot against you if you don't believe it to be plotting every waking moment, in your head.
Calm down, says my little crane of infinite wisdom.
Don't be so blinded by the fact that you feel like a stranger. Wait till you are told that you are one before you begin to sob yourself into oblivion about it. Don't imagine yourself into a life of misery, feel miserable and then wait for someone to rescue you without you being able to tell them what you need rescuing from. Be sane.
But I know, you won't. And I know you will be the same, wretched, little mess the next time. And while you have been sufficiently frightened this time, you will not let that fear do good things for you.
The little crane knew me so well.
Within minutes it had predicted the grand phoenix cycle of self destruction for me. Just like, within days and minutes I tread the path to alienating the people I love. Just like
Amen.
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